i like this one; it's a little different.

1. Your middle name, and how you feel about it.
2. Talk about your piercings or tattoos, if you have any.
3. Write about your closest friend(s).
4. Your favorite season, and why.
5. Are you a fitness guru or a couch potato? Talk about your exercising habits.
6. Talk about your pets, or the pets you would like to have.
7. Top three favorite bands.
8. Your thoughts or opinion on Harry Potter.
9. Your thoughts or opinion on Mean Girls.
10. Do you have siblings? Talk about them.
11. Your favorite Disney Princess movie.
12. Your thoughts on Ugg boots.
13. Do you wear glasses? if so, what are they for?
14. Your favorite subject to study.
15. Do you play a sport? If not, tell us about a different hobby you may have.
16. Your opinions on Lady Gaga.
17. Name one place you would love to visit one day.
18. Three favorite girl names, three favorite boy names, three favorite pet names.
19. Take a picture of yourself and post it, or post the most recent picture you can find.

something you miss.

goodness.
i mean, being a freshman at college three hours away from home, there are thousands of things i miss.
i miss pizza every friday night.
i miss the random times i would see and interact with simon ali, and it always made my day.
i miss doing worship for the Rock.
i miss serving with my jr high girls.
i miss giving Thomas the evil eye.
i miss my room, a place that had become a home for my art and my soul.
i miss Frontline, those seats we always sat in, the progression of relationships that passed through those seats.
I MISS CHIPOTLE.
i miss the playground by j.j.'s house.
i miss the Mullin's house.
i miss the apathy and hypocrisy of the rock.
i miss the construction and business and rude-ness and loudness of NOVA.
no wait those last two were a joke.

i do miss the people though. i miss lacey. and clark. and simon. and thomas. and ham. and anton. caleb. brian. j.j.. walker. carter. bonita. julie. nick c. ahryel. ashleigh. kate. jake. my sister. my brother. my parents. all the people that made my life a little more interesting.

this week i have been

--rejected.
--disappointed.
--worried.
--scared.
--lost.
--humiliated.
--forgotten.
--tired.
--weary.

"In peace I will both lie down and sleep,
For You alone, Lord, make me to dwell in safety."
Psalm 4:8

what kind of person attracts you.

well, i have to start with the first look. because that's what everyone starts with. like scott judkins said so long ago, every relationship starts on level one--the first glance.
on first glance i notice hair, smile, and shoes. you're normally in a good place if you're wearing vans, converses, toms, or keds. smile is clean, genuine, innocent. hair is long, dark, scene-ish. i normally go for skaters and scene kids. but that's my knee-jerk. i normally am not attracted to these people beyond the shallow, worldly impressions.
when i get to know people, I'm attracted to Jesus. you normally don't get points if I have a real conversation with you and you don't glorify God or point back to Him. if i ask you about a decision, you better be praying about it. if i ask you why you did something, it better be because He said so. that's pretty much the bottom line. if you are not living by His Word, with His compassion and a true love for Him, you don't get points from me.

someone who fascinates you and why.

(if you didn't notice, i'm skipping certain days of this thirty-day thing that i don't really care about. i think that's cheating, but oh well.)

well, everyone interests me. i could really spend all day watching people if it weren't a little creepy and frowned upon in society. there are certain faces that i've been watching recently. a lot of them are guys--the male kingdom is just an enigma to me. none of them make sense. but if you're a subject of my staring, i'm not checking you out, promise--i'm just wondering who you are and why.
i wish i could know everyone's story. why they act the way they do. what do they believe. what drives them. what ticks them off.
someone specific who has been fascinating me recently is a kid named patrick. i've talked to him a few times--he's a really nice kid. i'm fascinated because i can see a love for Jesus in his face, but i'm not sure if i'm willing it to be there or not. i keep praying God would put him in my path so i can get to know him more.
i'm really weird. :P

updates on my life.

because i want to get all the stupid stuff out of my head now.
--i get to be the photographer for chelsea's weddinggggg! i'm so excited. i'm really praying that God will bless me with fantastic talents, at least for that one day.
--why is crocheting so hard?!
--i really need to shower, but i'm too lazy to. i'll shower in the morning.
--i'm a hipster lion for halloween. i'm pretty freakin proud of it.
--i hate the ways in which the world tells me i need to be fulfilled. it fills my brain with crap and i long for it and then i realize, i hate this.
--i really don't get along with people very well.
--i really want to go home, but at the same time that's the most dreadful idea in the world right now.
--a guy called me his dream woman yesterday. i didn't know him, but it was flattering c: and very funny.
--i still have homework to do. it's weird because i haven't really had actual homework all semester. i'm going to be screwed when i start having real classes.
--i want my longboard nowwwww.

the blanket i'm crocheting

that might be finished by the time i graduate.

5 celebrity guys you find attractive

i'm really going to prove my girliness on this one.
okay so here goes.
1. leonardo di caprio, BUT only in Titanic. he was beautiful. just look at that face. and he was so cheesy about Rose. just plain adorable.

2. heath ledger, BUT once again only in 10 Things I Hate About You. he got ugly as he got older. and then he did gay movies. which is just bad.

3. Logan Lerman from Percy Jackson. this one is pretty embarrassing, but honestly, he was pretty.

 4. mr. darcy! duh.



5. this last one was kind of difficult, because honestly i don't swoon over guys very much. but sylvia suggested this one, so i'll go with it.

christian bale! i forgot he was in little women. he totally should have married Jo.

on a roll.

one of your favorite shows.

arrested development.
or lost.

not to be an egoist...

but i'm going to be one.
i've really liked my hair for the past few days.

how important you think education is.

in high school, education greatly frustrated me. it taught me things i really didn't care about nor will ever use. high school thought it was paving a path for me that i really don't look back on kindly. the high school system--in fact, the whole schooling system is incredibly flawed. there are kids who are forced through this system that would do so well if they were paid attention to. high school allows us to stay kids and not take responsibility for ourselves. i really, really hated education in high school.
now in college, there are still unnecessary classes. but i love it so much more. i'm so excited for the classes i'll be taking that are specific to my future.
despite all of this, i think learning is very, very important. i just think it could be done better.

but education never taught me to swim. :c

disrespecting your parents.

is that a question? a statement? i don't get it it.
but due to the general nature of this thirty day nonsense, i'm going to guess that it's asking for my opinion on the matter.
Exodus 20:12--"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you."
as simple as that.

personal note:
doing my hair a little differently these days.

when i ask

"can i voice my thoughts on this?"
and you say yes,
do not--
i repeat, do NOT
listen to three words and then interrupt me.
do not listen to one sentence and then justify what you said so my thought no longer matters.
if you don't want to hear it, then don't say yes.
if you don't care about my thoughts? fine.
then don't expect me to respond the next time you have something to say.
i'm tired of not being listened to.
i know that what I say doesn't matter, but my greatest desire is to point people to God.
and when they can't even take a second to listen to me--after i've taken time to listen to them--
it's frustrating.
and it hurts.
i know i'm selfish.
i know that's all this is.
but i mean...seriously.
i see God teaching me patience through all of this.
but it still frustrates me beyond belief.

do one thing for me:
take time to honestly and genuinely listen to the people around you.
it's so worth it. and sometimes it's good for us to shut up.
ask them about themselves.
Jesus always skipped the small talk and went straight to the heart.

your beliefs.

my beliefs cannot be summed up in a four-point gospel presentation.
my beliefs are not nearly as simple as God, sin, Christ, repent.
my beliefs are as intricate and complicated as the miracle of life.
I believe so deeply in the mystery and wonder of Jesus Christ.
I believe in the cross on which Jesus, as human as you and I but God at the same time, died an awful, horrific, XXX-rated death so that you, and I, may partake in the glory of His perfection and divinity.
I believe that God has saved my life--literally and spiritually.
I believe that the only reason I take each breath is because He wants me to.
I believe that my only purpose in life is to glorify Him in all I do--in life, or in death.
I believe that I have an eternal promise of fellowship with Christ--something i don't deserve and never could by my own power.
I believe that I am called to love others because I was first loved. Because I was first redeemed and spared. How could I bring someone else down, someone else who may receive or has recieved this same amazing love?
I believe that God looks on the heart. He does not judge based on outward appearance. He loves us in spite of ourselves.
I believe that God has amazing things in store for my life, if only I follow Him.
I believe that I am an awful human being, and, apart from God, completely worthless.
If I were to sum up my beliefs, the only way I could do it properly would be to give you the Holy Word of God. Therein lies my belief system. My church. My family. My morals. My faith. My love, and my purpose.

highs and lows of this past year.

highs:
--those ten months.
--getting out of Northern Virginia.
--graduating.
--going to Liberty University.
--seeing Gatalie.

lows:
--the end of those ten months.
--knowing i am so incredibly disliked.
--almost not graduating.

my views on mainstream music.

i grew up not being allowed to listen to anything mainstream. if the artist/band did not claim Christ, then they could not enter my ears. for a while in middle school this drove me crazy. i hated not being able to sing along with the songs people sang in the locker room or the hallway. going into highschool i hid secular music from my parents. i started listening to the music everyone listened to, but as I grew in my walk with Christ, I realized something.
This music sucked.
Now, there is a ton of amazing musicians and bands out there that are mainstream. I listen to them often--brand new, city and colour, the avett brothers, bon iver, death cab for cutie--to name a few. but these people don't sing about crap. they don't curse too often (if they do i normally don't listen to it) and their lyrics are not revolving around sex and/or drugs. i really just don't like the stuff that has that in it. it's music is normally tasteless and talentless anyway. being an aspiring musician, i see the value in the music and quality of sound and the technicalities and the difficulty of what they're doing. i don't go for the stupid songs that every one loves because they're cheesy and catchy. i listen to good music--i've never met anyone who didn't like the majority of the music i listen to.

when the day met the night.

So he said, "Would it be alright
If we just sat and talked for a little while;
If, in exchange for your time,
I give you this smile?"

So she said, "That's okay
As long as you can make a promise
Not to break my little heart
Or leave me all alone in the Summer."

i just feel

sad.
and i hate it. i don't like feeling sad.
i know why i feel sad.
but i wish i didn't have to.
i'm glad, though, that it's not a pitiful sad.
that i have a legitimate reason for being sad.
i need sleep.
and Jesus.

bullet your whole day.

• woke up at eight.
• rinsed my hair in the sink.
• grabbed my fig newtons.
• met erica outside my dorm.
• walked to North.
• giggled at how long my fig newtons are.
• sat with Melissa in Old Testament.
• visited Sylvia and Founder's.
• went to Evangelism.
• took the bus back to Demoss
• walked to my dorm from Demoss.
• did my Psych mod for chapter seven.
• did all of my math homework except one.
• walked to demoss.
• went to psychology.
• walked to the hill.
• got quiet time for about forty minutes that wasn't really quiet because it's impossible to find quiet places at liberty.
• got ten pictures of Chelsea's wedding dresses and got sad that I couldn't see them in person.
• walked back to my dorm.
• wrote bits of a song.
• fell asleep.
• woke up to mrs. erskine calling me saying she was there to pick me up to babysit.
• baby-sat.
• studied for GNED.
• did dishes.
• went back to LU.
• talked with Kaylee, Alicia, Phoebe, and Melissa about fall break.
• had hall meeting.
• had prayer groups.
• wrote this blog.

10 songs that pop up on your iPod.

sincerely, my Nanananana playlist:

1. Solar Powered Life--The Classic Crime
she dies without direct sunlight.

2. We are Broken--Paramore
what must we do to restore our innocence?

3. On Your Porch--The Format
and as our eyes start to close i turn to you and i let you know
that i love you.

4. Luca--Brand New
i'll still find someone to be everything we know that you'll never be.

5. I Will See You Again--City & Colour
it's been so long--sometimes i wonder how i will stay strong.

6. Fences--Phoenix
she's been building a castle.

7. At Least I'm Not As Sad (As I Used to Be)--fun.
i'd rather not--let's just say I'm starving myself.

8. Skinny Love--Bon Iver
my, my, my.

9. Different Names For The Same Things--Death Cab for Cutie.
i didn't care where i was going--they're all different names for the same place.

10. Walk With Me--The Classic Crime
for heaven I would gladly die.

what you hope your future will be like.

you know, I really don't know. I would love to be married one day. to have a job where i'm doing what i love--caring for other people. i would love to be participating in some kind of art form. but most of all, I pray I am glorifying God. I really don't see any purpose in anything else. If I'm not doing that, then I hope there is no future.

WRITE ME LETTERS. SEND ME PACKAGES.

it just makes my day a little better.

for mail, send it to:

Lauren Schlademan

MSC Box 31001
Liberty University
P.O. Box 20,000
Lynchburg, VA 24506-8001

for packages, send it to:

Lauren Schlademan

MSC Box 31001
1971 University Blvd
Lynchburg, VA 24502

puhhleeaaasssseeee. c:

a moment you felt most satisfied with your life.

i was walking back from a short visit to my high school this past friday. i had visited the teachers who knew what was going on at my worst point, and were now seeing me at my best.
and i knew that God is so good.

and this picture is good too:

30 interesting facts about yourself.

1. 30?! holy crap. i highly doubt i can reach thirty.

2. i could probably get thirty, but only about three of them MIGHT be interesting.

3. i play solitaire like it's my job. don't judge.

4. i killed my hair with a little thing called manic panic bleach. apparently it's bad for your head.

5. i am prayerfully getting my tattoo on my eighteenth birthday. i've been wanting this tattoo since I was sixteen.

6. i'm a nerd about very few things. i don't give a crap about school. HOWEVER, i am a HUGE nerd when it comes to the Bible.

7. if you think i don't like you, or seem to disapprove of you, be sure of one thing--i am deeply hurting for the state of your heart. i just don't know how to show it in a positive way.

8. i'm really not afraid to say what i think. God is slowly teaching me to be discerning and speak gently, but it's hard. especially when i'm hard set on it.

9. God did not make me to be compatible with a large amount of people. that's simply not how i function.

10. the funny thing is, He also made me to be very dependent upon people and affirmation and love from others. the conflict of these two facts has been slowly teaching me that i can only rely on Him, who promises love--a perfect love.

11. if you were to ask me what i hate, the first would be sin. the second would be my brain. i know God made me this way for a reason and a purpose, but my brain is constantly turning in on itself and on me and conflicting and not allowing me to live fully, sometimes. sometimes it makes me unhappy for no reason at all. i really dislike my brain.

12. i have never met anyone with such erratic sleeping patterns as I myself possess. I woke up at five o'clock this morning for no reason at all. yesterday, i went to bed around the same time and woke up at 9:40--twenty minutes before convo. some nights, i'm okay on only two or three hours of sleep. others i sleep twelve and over without interruption.

13. I'm currently teaching myself how to crochet. I actually have a small blister on my middle finger from it. it may actually be one of the most frustrating things.

14. one of my strongest earthly desires is to be known. to be noticed and recognized. to say that i don't do things to accomplish that is a lie. i have found, however, that whatever i do of my own power to be recognized normally doesn't get me anywhere. a more satisfying recognition is to be known by God.

15. one of my silliest dreams is to record a worship CD.

16. Dallas Green is one of the most beautiful men on this earth. he would be even more beautiful if he loved Jesus, and if he was dating me.

17. I'm becoming quite perspicacious. i don't really like it, because sometimes i'm right when i don't want to be.

18. my life verses are James 1:2-4.

19. i'm actually playing solitaire while trying to think of interesting facts.

20. teenagers are the most misguided and lied to people alive. i would love to spend the rest of my life telling them the Truth.

21. i always wonder if my mother reads my blogs and as a result has burning questions about my life and my soul that she doesn't want to ask because she doesn't want to barge into my life. hi mom!

22. that was, in fact, a shout-out to my mother.

23. my backpack has a hole in it :c but it was three dollars from a thrift store.

24. today in demoss i heard one guy say to another "dude, you could totally have that if you wanted it." when talking about a girl. i almost punched him in the face.

25. i have an incredible compassion for other's pain. however, it is not of me. if it were me, i wouldn't care at all. it's God.

26. the girl in the room next to mine just growled four times.

27. i'm really quite tired of writing about myself. i'd much rather hear about you. how are you? what's going on in your life?

28. i really don't like initiating conversation, friendship, or really much else with a guy. i'm a firm believer in chivalry. if you're a guy, be one. take the lead--that's your job. you have to pursue. i'm not about to.

29. i would love to be a photographer. i just wish i was good at it.

30. yessss. this is finally over.

your views on religion.

religion kills.
i don't believe in religion. it's crap.
but Jesus? I LOVE Jesus.

i babysit the most adorable little ones in the world.