i'm not really excited to turn 18.

i kind of wish i could move this birthday. move it to six months ago, or maybe a year from now.
i know that birthdays, especially this one, are supposed to be fun and surrounded by people who care for you. it's supposed to be a good day.
honestly, i've been asking for nothing this year because i don't want to be disappointed. don't look at that and say--geez, how pitiful. it's just true.
i'm a freshman at college--a new person at a new place. i don't have a ton of friends. i've lost some. i'm not really special to anyone. which is okay--i don't need to be. but it makes it hard on my eighteenth birthday.
i didn't have a sweet sixteen, and now my 18th birthday is going to be just as exciting.
it's just hard. i'm not even gonna be with my momma, whom, i think, cares about me more than anyone.

[[to you:it would make my day if you called to say happy birthday. so if you think about it, please call.]]