as of today,

september nineteenth, I am beginning two fasts.
the first is a fast from all sweets and carbonated drinks (soda) for a month. i have spent so much time participating in self-degradation and self-harm; i have a Temple to take care of. this will end october 20th.
the second is a six month fast from dating, seeking out a relationship, or having any relationship with guys that is not purely platonic. i am not emotionally or, more importantly, spiritually ready for a relationship. being at LU, it's so easy to fall into the attitude where you need a relationship. but i don't want that. i want to need Christ utterly and completely. only then will i be able to even begin considering a relationship. only then will i be able to treat someone correctly. this will end march 20th.
i put this here so that i may be held accountable. not many read this, but if you do, please hold me to this. if you see me doing anything to betray these fasts, please point it out.
i'm tired of living life like this, and it's time to do something about it.

"but be doers of the Word, obey the message, and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth...he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the law of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres into looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer who obeys, he shall be blessed in his doing, his life of obedience."
[[james 1:22, 25]]